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Staying Encouraged

When you’re working with kids who have been through a lot in their family of origin, it can sometimes be hard to stay encouraged. But it’s important that you do stay encouraged because kids need that kind of energy coming from their foster parents. When foster children enter your home, they bring a lot of negative energy with them along with a sense of rejection sometimes, fear, and other emotions that can really weigh down the dynamic in your family. In order to keep the energy in your family positive, it’s important that you find ways to encourage yourself and your children. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Staying encouraged has a lot to do with staying happy and knowing how to keep your mood balanced. You can be a glass half full or glass half empty kind of person with foster children, but depending on your particular way of looking at things, you can get entirely different results from the kids in your care. If you look at your foster kids and see what’s wrong with them and how things are going poorly, you’ll tend to keep seeing poor results. You’ll tend to keep getting poor results. If you look at your foster kids and make a habit of looking for progress and the positive results, however, small, you’ll tend to, out of habit, continue to see positive results and you’ll be much more likely to get good results.

 

Some people call it the law of attraction, other people just know that there’s truth to it. Children respond to parents the way that parents expect for them to respond. Many foster children come from homes where parents have low expectations for themselves and thus low expectations for their children. Over time living in a foster home, children can transform their personal expectations and begin to believe themselves, but foster parents need to stay encouraged in order for this to happen. Expect more from your foster children and allow yourself to find enjoyment in small achievements.

 

Don’t get down on yourself when things don’t go the way that you want them to with foster children. You’re working with years of dysfunctional parenting behaviors when you bring foster children into your home. It makes sense that it would take years to reset those dysfunctional patterns and start new ones. You need to pace yourself and do what’s necessary to take care of yourself mentally as you navigate through the surprises and challenges that present themselves as you’re parenting your foster children.

 

It’s important that you maintain a healthy attitude toward your foster parenting endeavors. That means staying upbeat about your child’s behaviors and keeping good humor about your own behaviors as well. You may not always do things with as much finesse as you’d like while parenting your foster children, but give yourself a break. You’re learning things too. When foster children don’t make progress as quickly as you might like, you can at least look at yourself sometimes to stay encouraged. As long as you’re still learning things, there is still progress being made that will benefit you and your foster kids.

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